Don't Call Movie Audience "Dumb Dumb"
It happens all the time; a beautiful screenplay is written- perhaps yours - it is bought, and then changed. In some cases it is changed a little, and in others it is completely rewritten; sometimes again, and again, and again by several different writers.
Maddening? Yes, of course, and although a lot of prideful scribes will not agree, changes can actually make a script better: dialog may get punched up, scenes can be tightened in ways the original writer had not thought of, or believable dimensions may even be added to characters. However, it will be out of the original writer's hands at that point and it is pretty safe to say that often, changes make the script worse: exchanging poignancy for cuteness, believability for the absurd, or heightened conflict for explosions, lots, and lots of explosions (preferably in 3D). In fact, the only thing that may ever remain with an original screenplay is Morgan Freeman, if you are fortunate enough to get him attached.
The most egregious offense, and my personal pet peeve though, is when the actual audience is made "dumb". Because when you call somebody stupid, it seems to have a to have a tendency to alienate them. To that end, is there anything worse than alienating your audience. Now they do feel dumb, they feel dumb for paying to see a movie that you, at least, wrote part of.
What? Who cut off my ear?
Though the number of examples probably rivals DUIs on Hollywood Boulevard, my favorite example is from Good Will Hunting. Perhaps because it is an Oscar Winning script, perhaps because it is a favorite movie of mine despite the blatant audience dumbing.
Does this look familiar? (It really shouldn't.)
My crappy rendition using kid's watercolors of the picture Robin William's character Sean painted that was hanging in his office leading to this exchange:
Good Will Hunting
by Matt Damon
Ben Affleck
Distribution: Miramax Films
Earlier Draft:
Will gets up again and moves around his chair to Sean's
painting. It is a picture of an old sailboat in a tremendous storm -- by no means a masterpiece. Will studies it.
WILL
You paint this?
SEAN
Yeah. Do you paint?
WILL
No.
SEAN
Crayons?
WILL
This is a real piece of shit.
SEAN
Tell me what you really think.
WILL
Poor color composition, lousy use of
space. But that shit doesn't really
concern me.
SEAN
What does?
WILL
The color here, see how dark it is?
It's interesting.
SEAN
What is?
WILL
I think you're one step away from
cutting your ear off.
SEAN
Oh, "Starry Night" time, huh?
WILL
You ever heard the saying, "any port
in a storm?"
SEAN
Sure, how 'bout "still waters run
deep"-
WILL
--Well, maybe that means you.
SEAN
Maybe what mea--
WILL
Maybe you were in the middle of a
storm, a big fuckin' storm -- the
waves were crashing over the bow,
the Goddamned mast was about to snap,
and you were crying for the harbor.
So you did what you had to do, to
get out. Maybe you became a
psychologist.
SEAN
Maybe you should be a patient and
sit down.
Final Version:
SEAN
Dya' like art? Do ya' like music?WILL
It's a real piece of shit.
SEAN
Oh..Well, tell me what you really think.
WILL
Uh, just the--the linear n impressionistic mix makes a
very muddled composition. It's also a Winslow Homer
rip-off, except you got Whitey uh..rowin the boat there.
SEAN
Well, it's art, Monet...wasn't very good.
WILL
That's not really what concerns me, though.
SEAN
What concerns you?
WILL
It's the coloring.
SEAN
You know what the real bitch of it is? It's paint by
number.
WILL
Is it color by number? Because the colors are fascinating
to me.
SEAN
Are they really? What about that?
WILL
I think you're about one step away from cuttin' your
fuckin' ear off.
SEAN
Really?
WILL
Oh yeah..
SEAN
Think I should move to the south of France n change my
name to Vincent.
WILL
You ever heard the saying "any port in a storm?"
SEAN
Yeah.
WILL
Yeah, maybe that means you.
SEAN
In what way?
WILL
ell, maybe you're in the middle of a storm, a big fuckin'
storm.
SEAN
eah, maybe.
WILL
The sky's fallin' on your head, the waves are crashin'
over your little boat, the oars are about to snap. You
just piss in your pants, you're cryin' for the harbors,
and maybe you do what you gotta do to get out. Yeah,
maybe you became a psychologist.
SEAN
Bingo. That's it. Lemme do my job now, we still have a
minute. Com'on.
#########
The audience dumbing question here: Do WE know Vincent Van Gogh?
From Wikipedia:
Vincent Willem van Gogh; 30 March 1853 – 29 July 1890) was a Dutch post-Impressionist painter whose work, notable for its rough beauty, emotional honesty, and bold color, had a far-reaching influence on 20th-century art. After years of painful anxiety and frequent bouts of mental illness, he died at the age of 37 from a gunshot wound, generally accepted to be self-inflicted (although no gun was ever found). His work was then known to only a handful of people and appreciated by fewer still....
....In March 1886, he moved to Paris and discovered the French Impressionists. Later, he moved to the south of France and was impacted by the strong sunlight he found there. His work grew brighter in color, and he developed the unique and highly recognizable style that became fully realized during his stay in Arles in 1888.
At this point in the film, I don't think anyone would think that either Sean or Will do not know who Vincent Van Gogh is
Will's character is a genius who likes to test people... size them up by being intelligently sarcastic, and even make them fell stupid at times. By being cocky and belittling he can shield himself from being hurt by the outside world. This scene is in line to do just that and is perfect for both characters... but this exchange in both versions shows you just how easy it is to alienate your audience.
Will sees the painting as a chance to "read" the psychologist Sean... see if he can get his goat and let Sean know that he will not be "shrunk" by the shrink. Who is Sean to tell Will he has problems...Will sees Sean as another shrink who is probably just full of himself with all these books he has never read; somebody who perhaps needs justification and vindication in his own life and gets that through telling others how to "fix" themselves. Will knows Sean is 'broken' just by the fact that Will knows everyone is broken to some extent... so Will's 'in' is to interpret the painting.. the odd little artistic painting Sean did himself and then hung in his own office. If he can get under Sean's skin then he can have the upper hand as opposed to simply just calling Sean "broken"; which is essentially all this scene is setting up to accomplish, besides letting you know that both these men internally like the challenged posed by the other. As the audience need to know Will can get to Sean (Sean, who is perhaps the only person who has the smarts and compassion to help Will). We know Will is going to 'rail' against all help.. especially that of somebody who is competent enough to help him.
That is the rub, if Sean is going to be smart enough and competent enough to actually help Will he is going to have to pass Will's insult test. Namely, the line:
WILL
"I think you're about one step away from cuttin' your fuckin' ear off."
In reference to the painting...what could that mean to the audience?
And this is where it gets interesting to me because if you have never even heard of Vincent Van Gogh before I think this line accomplishes the same task at hand-- essentially calling Sean a man who is on the fringe of "Crazytown." In fact, I can't see how it could have been interpreted as anything else. If the scene was different and Will was listening to Sean ...let's say play the piano.. then the whole 'ear thing' might be interpreted that his musical abilities are so terrible he should cut off his ears. But, in reference to a painting... I think any member of the audience who was unfamiliar with Van Gogh would just infer from context that Will is saying Sean is not mentally stable.
Now Ben and Matt in writing this scene still need to show that Sean as intelligently quippy as Will is, hence Sean's reply:
SEAN
Oh, "Starry Night" time, huh?
Sean obviously referring to one of, if not the most, famous paintings Van Gogh did. That is a nice touche on his part. Sean can say this making reference to the painting thereby letting Will know that he is familiar with Van Gogh and it doesn't alienate the audience. If we were unsure of the ear reference... again from context, or just knowing an ounce of art history, would fell like we are on par with Will and Sean here... which is very cool, because this scene now also functions in complimenting your audience: Will is smart, Sean is smart; if you know what they are talking about there then you MUST be smart too!
But then disaster... like a parent who answers their own question before a child can even respond. Somebody (I will go to the end of the limb on this one and say it was not Matt or Ben) decided the Audience was too dumb, dumb to get the ear/starry night references so they changed it and Sean responds as we cringe:
SEAN
Think I should move to the south of France n change my name to Vincent.
It may have been better for him just to go ahead and say, "Should I change my name to Vincent Van Gogh?" There is no mystery in this at all...pretty sure there is a child's place mat somewhere in America that has the trivia question: What famous painter once cut off his ear and his first name is Vincent?
Watching the film I was suddenly jerked from the story back into my seat... "They think I am a moron!" It would be one thing if there actually were kids in the audience with their place mat trivia in hand, but the film is obviously rated R. I sit in my seat in disbelief. Up until then they have talked about the Field's Medal, complicated math theorems, and a boatload of other stuff without dumbing it down and now this....being spoon fed possibly the most well known painter in history. Ugh!
How much did this bother me as a screenwriter myself... well here I am some 15 years later writing and entire blog on that one change. Perhaps it was because the rest of the script was so brilliant, I don't know; but if you have something that you are afraid your audience is not going to understand you need to really, really evaluate it before you just 'pull up your stakes'... dumb it down, and play it safe because you might do more harm than good.
Moral of the story: It is better to have a small percentage of your audience not understand every little nuance of your story than to tell the entire audience that you think they are stupid! Don't be a dumb, dumb!
P.S. Agent's, readers, directors, actors, actresses, and studio executives do not like to be called dumb either! Something like that might keep you from getting a check, check!
